A Sign Of Hope

Someone posted this video to Facebook this morning and unlike most mornings, I actually took the 5 minutes to watch it. I was glad I did. I watched it again this evening and was again struck by a sense of hopefulness. Maybe I'm just weird, but it seemed to be something without agenda, with only the purpose to share a love of music. People who might not ever get (or make) the opportunity to go see an orchestra, kids whose first exposure to classical music will be remembered in the same category as a parade (I'm guessing - but hey, play along with me, 'kay?). A sign of hope to bring classical music to the 'common' people instead of reserving it for formally dressed upper class with the price of admission. (Have I piled it on too thick yet?).
I know, there are hundreds of flash mob videos, and I have to admit that I watch most of the ones that come across my path. I'm sure someone will try crush my illusions with the argument that there is an agenda - if not monetary, then social, religious, or some other nefarious purpose.

But for now, I chose to focus on hope.
Enjoy:

We interrupt this program for an urgent announcement....

I am sharing this for my friend, Sonia Todd. The post below was written by her husband, Brian. Please, if you know of any clinical trial cancer treatment centers, please let them know.

***
If anyone knows of a phase 3 clinical trial for small cell cancer treatment please let me know. As you know, my wife Sonia has cancer. The chemo and radiation were not successful and it is now in her liver. There is nothing more the local cancer treatment center can do for us and they have given her 6 months.
Her doctor said that her best bet would be to find a center doing a phase 3 clinical study and that she would be a great candidate because of her health (other than cancer) and age.
So, if any of you know anyone involved in cancer research please ask them for me. Six months is not enough.
***

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

At first glance that old saw seems pretty trite. The sentiment is restated over and over with various combinations of words, applied to various pursuits, until we no longer hear the message behind it. It's pretty basic, though. To succeed, you only need to get up one more time than you fall down.

This blog post is me getting back up again after a six month fall-down. Life, crises, a disaster or two. . .does it really matter why I stopped? The longer I waited to post, the harder it was to get back on the horse and keep riding. But in the end, what matters is that I got back up again and am still pursuing my dreams and goals. Surprisingly, the fall-down turned out to be a major motivator to get my butt back in gear and put my money where my mouth is. Teach what I preach, walk the talk, and so forth and so on.

I started this blog last September on Debbie's birthday and, though no particular planning or effort on my part, I am coming back to it just a few days before my birthday. This one will be 48 and the clock is ticking toward 50. All of a sudden my goals have solid deadlines. (Well, some of my goals do. Some of them are farther reaching.) Somewhere in the past month or two, I looked at the calendar and freaked myself out. I don't have time to wallow around after falling, I need to get my feet under me, stand up, and start moving toward those goals. This time falling down served a purpose. It forced me to reexamine my goals and decide how important it was to me to reach them.

What goals do you want to keep on trying for?

Writing 'Castle'

(Just typing that subject line made me smile. 'Castles' was the working title of my first novel. Although I still believe in the story, some of it is almost painful to read it's so self conscious. But this post isn't about that story. Sorry, Lisbet.)

I just watched a movie called "I Capture the Castle" based on the novel by the same name. I read the book probably a dozen years ago or so, but it stuck in my head. I'd actually forgotten it was, in part, about a blocked writer. I was looking for movies about writers and was surprised to see that one on the list. And, lucky me, it was available to stream on Netflix AND I actually had time to sit and watch it.

I'll skip over the plot and synopsis and all those sorts of details in favor of one scene that captured my imagination. The father had published an acclaimed novel twelve years before the story opens. He hasn't been able to write since (for lots of reasons) and he is slowly going over the edge. In an attempt to help him start writing again, his daughter and son lure him to bring his typewriter to a landmark of their childhood - a free standing castle turret. Probably the rest of the castle had crumbled centuries before. Anyway, they all climb down the ladder to the grassy floor of the turret, where there is an old iron bedstead. They help him set up his typewriter, toss a picnic basket toward him, and then they climb up the ladder and take it with them. He is effectively trapped in this turret with nothing but his typewriter, and told they will not release him until he writes 50 pages.

Think about that. No phone, no television, no internet, no people, no internet, no nothing except you and a keyboard. Or maybe just a notebook. Food and drink supplied. . . . Heaven or hell?

I think this might be the writer's version of "If you were trapped on a desert island, and could only have one book, what would it be?"

So. . . what would your writing 'castle' look like?

Why Do You Write?

"Goals. There's no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There's no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There's no telling what will happen when you act upon them."—Jim Rohn


What are your goals? Can you state them clearly? Holly Lisle's last two newsletters were about goals in a way. Not the kind like "I want to lose 10 pounds" or "I want to complete a novel", but more general type goals. Since my focus this week isn't about concrete action-oriented goals so much as it is about a mindset I need to accomplish those action-oriented goals, Holly's newsletters struck a chord in me.

Her first question was "What do I want to get OUT of my writing? What's in it for me?" The easy answer is usually "I want to publish." That's a freebie. But what is it that drives you to want to write in the first place? Have you thought about it? I need to remind myself of my reasons, of what I want to get out of writing. I'm still pondering the question and my answers to it.

Holly's second question was "What am I willing to put INTO my writing?" Her angle wasn't about time or effort, but about how much of yourself you're willing to put on the page. How naked are you willing to be? I think I'm pretty willing to be naked on the page most of the time. For a long time I wasn't. That's why I chose fiction. Hey, they're made up stories, right? It took a number of years and a look back at my early writing to see just how clearly I showed up on the page, between the lines. Fears, dreams, fantasies, worries, probably prejudices, too, if I'm honest.

When you think about your goals, think about the answers to Holly's questions. Set real, concrete goals, S.M.A.R.T. goals—specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable, time-limited—and aim for them. But don't lose sight of your original reason for wanting to write.

WWDS?

First of all, I want to thank Nicole Maggi and her blog on Friday "It's a practice not a perfect." (Go ahead, go on over to Nicole's blog and read it real quick. I'll wait.)

I think the aim for perfection (quote every day) got in the way of my practice of writing. I think I even had a post about this very thing as I was trying to catch up a week or two ago. Obviously, I'm a bit slow to catch on. Gotta walk the talk. Practice what I preach.

Ooo, there's that word practice again.

I've been thinking a lot about my "all or nothing" expections for myself. If I can't dive into the deep end and swim across the channel, I won't do it at all. Not a productive way of thinking, is it?

In yesterday's blog I asked myself a question. "What would Debbie say?" I can add to that maybe, what would Nicole's yoga teacher say? Or how about Nicole's New Year's resolution blog in which she resolves to fall in love with writing again in 2012? Or Ginger and Linda's WritersButt project advises to start with baby steps?

The key isn't instant success, it's not a destination or a result, it's a journey. A practice. A daily walk. Some days are going to be better than others. Some are busier than others. (And some days are downright insane.) The point isn't never missing a day. The point is having the goal and aiming for it, but knowing that if you fall short, it's more about getting up and heading toward the goal again than it is about never falling down in the first place.

Feel free to remind me of that now and then, okay?

WritersButt

As the first week of the new year closes, I have to confess I have not been able to walk my talk. I had great intentions last week of catching up, but the best laid plans yadda yadda yadda. The further I got behind the guiltier I felt and the harder it was to make myself write. So I asked myself, "Self, what would you tell someone in your situation?" and then, in the spirit of how I renewed my intention to blog every day last September, I asked myself "What would Debbie tell you to do?"

I'm pretty sure Debbie would tell me to remember my purpose—write every day—and redesign how that looks for me. The quote of the day is a good plan and I want to continue writing my quotes (just maybe not every day), but I plan to broaden my scope and include other topics which ultimately translate into how I'm facing the page.

With that in mind, I have decided to participate in the WritersButt project. The idea is that a healthier, more active body leads to a more creative mind. Since I was already planning to shift the family menu in a healthier direction, WritersButt comes along at a perfect time. I was originally excited about WritersButt because Ginger and Linda are long time friends of mine and fellow writers, and I knew lots of people would be excited about WritersButt.

When I read Ginger's initial blog post/challenge, I was even more excited—It wasn't a huge challenge I would have to gear up for and grit my teeth to do. It was something even time-challenged too-busy me could manage. You can read the rest of the details here: WritersButt.

Ginger plans to post a new WritersButt blog each Wednesday with more challenges, recipes, fitness ideas—all designed to be eensy weensy baby steps toward a healthier new me. You can follow on Facebook and on Twitter using the hashtag #writersbutt.

Off to drink some water now . . .

Focus Your Goals

“A piece of paper with a resolution on it isn’t that important. Writing that resolution is. Writing makes your ideas more clear and focuses you on your end result.”—Scott H. Young

New Year’s isn’t that far away. The traditional time for resolutions, new starts, lofty goals you can’t possibly keep . . . Make your resolution this year something attainable, specific, measurable—in other words, make it a S.M.A.R.T. goal. Write it down. It doesn’t really even matter if you save that piece of paper because somehow just writing it down gives it a weight it didn’t have when it existed only in your mind.

To focus your goals, try this:

Set a S.M.A.R.T. goal. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable, Time-constrained), write it down and seal it in an envelope. Put it in your desk or somewhere and don’t look at it again for awhile. Each month increase your daily goal by 25% or 50%. In three or four months, take a look at your resolution and see how you’re doing.

No Arguing

“It is a lot harder to establish a habit, particularly one that might cause you some distress or discomfort in the beginning, if you think you are doing it for life. However, you do need to give yourself a reasonable timeframe of daily writing to lay down the habit. . . .
The idea is to remove the negotiation from your brain. You have made the commitment, so you don't need to make any internal arguments with your hippocampus about whether or not you will write today. It has already been decided.”—Rene Hadjigeorgalis

Set a daily word count goal (a low one that’s easy to reach) and decide on a length of time you will commit to. If you look down the road from where you are now, it might feel like a prison sentence. You feel defeated before you even start, and as a result, you delay or completely avoid starting.

Look only at the immediate future with it’s easy-to-reach goals. 28 days is a good length of time to aim for. You can do pretty much anything as simple as 15 minutes a day, or 100 words a day, for 28 days.

You can do the same thing with exercise – especially if it’s something you’ve avoided as much as possible. Set a goal of walking only 10 minutes a day. Or even just 5 minutes. But commit to doing every single day for 28 days. At the end of that 28 days, it will seem pretty easy to increase it to 10 minutes a day for the next 28. It may take longer to reach the ideal amount, but if you take your time, you’re more likely to stick to it for the long haul.

Dust Bunnies

“It doesn't matter if you are tired, busy, have dust bunnies to kill, need to paint your ceiling, have visitors, need to caulk the bathtub, or just can't concentrate because you believe your faculty colleagues are really aliens from the planet Zortex in disguise. Remember - this is only 15 minutes of your time during this habit establishment phase. Even if you just open the laptop, stare zombie-like at your manuscript, and add a period, you will be making great progress in establishing the habit of writing.”—Rene Hadjigeorgalis

I admit, I have dust bunnies that, if they organized, could take over the planet. But will 15 minutes out of my day really make a difference in their population? Probably not. Not even if I were dedicated to exterminating them (which, I hate to admit, I am not). But I am a master at distractions. Nothing can increase my interest in scrubbing the toilet more than an unmet word count goal.

(The secret is out now. I preach write every day, but I struggle to do that consistently just like everyone else.)

Daily Habit

“When trying to establish a long-term daily writing habit, it is helpful to think of your first foray into this new territory as simply your establishment stage. In the beginning, it is most helpful to focus on establishing the habit than getting lots and lots of writing done. This is one reason for the advice to do brief daily sessions. Once you have established the habit, you can build up your time per session, or the number of sessions from there.”—Rene Hadjigeorgalis

Another piece in your plan to succeed (after the holidays, of course) is to rebuild the habit. You might even begin to lay the foundation of the habit this week. Set your daily word count goal for 50. Or 100. Something so easy to attain it’s almost ridiculous. You’re not focusing on quantity right now, merely establishing a pattern of behavior.

Balance

“But seriously, if you make a really HUGE effort to go to bed 30 minutes or an hour earlier, you’ll feel the difference the next day!

“If you make an effort to plan your meals and have a good, solid breakfast (oh man, breakfast makes all the difference in the world for me!), you’ll really feel a difference.” –Susan Dennard

So, have a plan, huh? Other than saying “I’ll do better next year” or “I’ll write every day”, what does a plan to succeed look like? Of course it includes a specific writing goal for each day, or each week if you prefer. It also should include taking care of the whole you. Because if your life isn’t in balance, it’s even harder to be disciplined about writing.

When I was researching this a little, I fell upon a great blog post at Let The Words Flow. There are reminders to eat healthy—this means not skipping breakfast or surviving only on a breakfast of caffeine, to get some exercise and get the blood flowing to your brain—this doesn’t mean prepping for a half-marathon, it just means get outside in the fresh air (even if it’s raining or snowing) and walk a little, and to take care of your soul—which might mean an artist’s date (a la Julia Cameron), some new music to write or meditate to, or maybe make a muse candle (instructions).

What are some ways you can increase balance in your life?

Couch Potato?

"My block was due to two overlapping factors: laziness and lack of discipline."
—Mary Garden

They say we are often our own worst critics. I know I’m harder on myself (most of the time) than anyone else. So when I look back at the past two weeks, I think “wow, I was so lazy and undisciplined, what a loser.”

I do think some amount of laziness might have been a factor, but if anyone else had told me about their last two weeks, I highly doubt I would confirm their ‘lazy’ diagnosis. Most likely I’d say “don’t be so hard on yourself. You have a lot going on, plus it’s the holidays.”

If I’m honest about the past two weeks, I see that almost every evening was full of activities, volunteer obligations, writing group, holiday baking, visiting family and friends, and the like. Work has been busy enough that I haven’t taken my full lunch most days, let alone an official break in which I take my notebook to the lunchroom and write. When I finally did crawl into bed at night, I had multiple websites to update and build, emails that needed replies, not to mention mental down-time.

So, if I was to give advice to someone describing my past two weeks, what would I say?

“It’s okay if you take a vacation now and then. Plan it. Plan when you’ll return to work – and stick to it.”

I’m still not happy with myself for missing two weeks of posting quotes, but I have a plan for catching up by the end of the year, and a plan to stay on track in the future.

Excuses

"The easiest thing to do on earth is not write."
—William Goldman

True story.

Well, there might be three things on that list: not write, not exercise, and not eat healthy. Especially during the holidays. It’s so easy to say “I’ll get back on track after the new year.” “I’ll get back to eating better when the holidays are past. I’ll exercise more when, er, the weather gets better (hey, wait, we still don’t have any snow this year) . . . when I get caught up on my blogs . . .

Whatever the excuses, recognize them for what they are. If you plan to get back on track as a New Year’s resolution, then work on a plan now. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

Make sure to make your goals S.M.A.R.T. If it’s been awhile since you’ve veered off track, start easy and increase slowly, but steadily. Five minutes every day. Ten minutes every day. Thirty minutes Monday thru Friday. Whatever your ultimate goal, set habits now with smaller chunks of time and gradually increase the time. Make your minimum writing time each day brief and mandatory, like brushing your teeth.

(Hopefully you're not waiting to get back to brushing your teeth until after the new year . . .)

A relapse is just a challenge in disguise . . .

“Rather than viewing a brief relapse back to inactivity as a failure, treat it as a challenge and try to get back on track as soon as possible.”
—Jimmy Connors

Advice to self: Don’t beat yourself up for stumbling, just get back up again.

I hope you’ll forgive me for backdating a few quotes as I try to get back on track. I'm not trying to put anything over on you, it's just a way for me to be sure I've honestly 'caught up'. If you follow this blog via email, you’ll know what’s going on when you get emails with 3 or 4 quotes of the day several days in a row after a couple weeks of not seeing anything from me.

I could use the holidays as an excuse, or the busyness at work, but they would be just excuses. I suppose the holidays are somewhat to blame with the extra activities in the evenings, houseguests and holiday baking taking up time I might ordinarily use to write, but if I practice what I preach, I should get my 15 minutes of writing done first.

But I’m not here to beat myself up. I’m here to accept the challenge and get back on track.

So, with the space heater warming my feet and a kitty draped around my shoulders keeping my neck warm, here I go. . .

Paper Training

“Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don't drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor's yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.”—Anne Lamott

Linda Gerber’s blog today asked about distractions and solutions. Distractions is right up there on the list with procrastination and excuses. And the solution is self discipline, whatever you choose to do.

Distractions show up in all sorts of masks, with all sorts of justifications (most of which aren’t as urgent as they want you to believe). Don’t beat yourself up if you suddenly realize you’ve allowed yourself to be distracted and pulled away from your writing, but also don’t excuse it. Bring yourself right back to the page. (I thought of going further with the analogy of paper training a puppy, cuz you know me and analogies, but I think I’ll just stop here.)

Storytellers

“Some critics will write 'Maya Angelou is a natural writer' - which is right after being a natural heart surgeon. “—Maya Angelou

During a recent interview, I was asked a question: “Do you think anyone can become a writer?”

I do think anyone can become a writer if they want to bad enough. I think some people are better equipped than others at the start of their journey due to family influences and school and other factors. But I have no doubt anyone can become a writer with enough work.

But, I don’t think everyone is a natural storyteller. I think some people are born with a special filter through which they view the world. Possibly these kids are the observers, the ones who hang back and watch the action for awhile before joining in. Maybe they are the quiet kids, busy absorbing what’s going on around them rather than being the center of attention. Maybe they are the kids who tell stories about what they saw on Mulberry Street (Dr. Seuss). I’m not sure what young storytellers look like.

What I do know is when I share some of the ways I view the world, there are people who don’t get it, and there are people who do. The ones who do are almost invariable storytellers. I can stand in the express checkout line at Walmart and make up a story about each person in line in front of me based on what I see in their cart, who they’re with, and what they look like. I’m probably way off target most of the time, but the point is in the story I create, not in the reality of that person’s life. The more my story resembles a stereotype, the less likely it is my story comes anywhere near truth. But understanding stereotypes is just as useful as knowing how to break stereotypes, and knowing how inaccurate they are on an individual basis.

The point is the story. My kids and I like to play a game we call “The Random Game.” When they were younger, it was a way to pass the time while we waiting in line. Now that they’re older and shopping on their own, it’s not unlikely that they’ll send me a text with a picture of their items on the checkstand. We assess points on a whim (rather like Drew Carey on “Whose Line”). When we’re in the car, we make up categories – like “you’re at a church potluck and there are three items left untouched on the table afterward. What are those three items?”

Or “you stop at a thrift store and there is a clearance table at the front with 5 items on it. What are those items and what are their prices?”

Or my favorite – "you buy a used 1988 Caprice Classic. In the glovebox are 3 items. What are they?” The key isn’t in obvious solutions. It’s with the specifics that your score will increase. If you have an owner’s manual for that make, model and year, it’s not so random. But if, in your 1988 Caprice Classic, you find an owner’s manual for a 1972 VW Bug, that’s pretty random. Add to that something slightly obvious, like 3 packets of Taco Bell hot sauce, and something uber-specific like a Barbie doll leg, and you have a winner.

What do YOU think makes a storyteller?

Dream Catcher

“Every author in some way portrays himself in his works, even if it be against his will.”—Goethe “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. ” ― Erma Bombeck

The idea that I was exposing my dreams or my inner self in my writing didn’t occur to me for a long while. I was writing fiction, after all. It was even longer before I understood that writing fiction was still a way to process the world and events in my life. When I encourage you to freewrite, to let your first thoughts spill onto the page, it is so you learn to tap into the rich well of your experience to give your writing depth and authenticity. Don’t shy away from the dark thoughts because somehow they will show up anyway. Better to have courage and write about them honestly and intentionally, using them to connect with your readers.

Dream Box

“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.” ― Erma Bombeck

Are your dreams of writing a novel or a memoir in a little box somewhere? Do you content yourself with writing blogs and emails and crafting great Facebook status updates?

What dreams do you have in your box?

They don’t do much sitting in the box. There isn’t much hoping of making them come true if you keep them packed away for someday. (BTW – this advice applies to the ‘good’ china and Grandma’s pearl earrings. Don’t save them for a someday that you might not see. Enjoy them now.)

What are your writing dreams? Start on them now. Set small goals – daily, weekly, or monthly. Take baby steps. Sure there are risks, but anything worth having is worth working for. Every step gets you a little closer to realizing your dream.

Burn Out

“. . .spend your days trying to meet unrealistically high goals and burnout isn't far behind. . . . Set reasonable goals and meet them, and you will stay emotionally involved in your work and keep burnout at bay.”—Steven Berglas, Ph.D.

Holly Lisle’s email newsletter hit home with me today. She talked about burning yourself out with writing. I recognized myself in her words, setting ambitious goals, determined to meet them, then giving up because it was unreasonable to stick to those goals day in and day out without regard to the season, holidays, family, the occasional cold, etc. Basically, I set myself up for failure.

“Self,” I said, “if you can manage a thousand words a day for a year, you could finish a book.”

“No problem,” I confidently replied. “I wrote nearly 6,000 words the other day and stopped only because I had to fix supper for the kids.”

“Well, then, if you can write 6,000 words on a good day, you should certainly be able to write 3,000 on a regular day. You could finish that book in six months.”

“Deal.” And we shook on it. Well, not really, but you get the idea.

The first few days went well. Then the weekend came and the kids were home from school and I had to get groceries and . . . well, Monday came around and I hadn’t written a single word over the weekend. So I was 6,000 words behind with another 3,000 hanging over my head. It didn’t take long for me to start thinking up excuses to myself about why I hadn’t been able to write that day. Pretty soon I was avoiding my computer because I felt guilty and no hope of 'catching up'.

Hopefully you’ve avoided this trap.

A better way to set goals is to keep them low enough that you don’t have to stagger over the finish line dehydrated and cramping. Pace yourself. Set goals that are realistic and take into account the demands of daily life. If you have a blockbuster day, celebrate, but don’t carry the expectation that one prolific day leads to another. There are fairytales and fables and actual for-real studies that show you will be more prolific if you set a steady pace you can maintain. Bottom line is – don’t burn yourself out to the point where you are making excuses for not facing the page.